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儿童给我们的爱|The child’s power of love
发布时间:2019-09-23
 


有趣的蒙特梭利老师

第104篇原创

 

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儿童是爱的源泉,

不论何时,

我们触碰到了一个孩子,

我们就触碰到了爱

作者介绍


Paul Epstein博士从事蒙台梭利教育长达40余年,曾任蒙台梭利幼儿早期、小学、中学、高中的教师、管理层以及大学教授。他活跃于世界各地的蒙台梭利界,是世界知名的演讲嘉宾。著有《观察者笔记》和《蒙台梭利方式》。


中文翻译


DLL蒙台梭利教师学习课程设计,中科院心理研究所儿童心理研究生

01

儿童的存在,使得成人的灵性得到成长。

The experience of authentic, unconditional love differs from romantic and other types of love. Unconditional love is not based on possessing or acquiring. [1] When we know this love, we experience personal and universal peace. 

真正无条件的爱和浪漫之爱以及其他类型的爱都不相同。无条件的爱建立在无所获得的基础上。了解了这种爱,我们就拥有了个人狭义的以及宇宙广义的宁静。




And while this love is observed and discussed repeatedly by the world’s great teachers, we seldom consider how this love also emanates from children. The smallest of babies cause us to smile. They, and older children, awaken us, and we engage in peaceful action.

我们频繁地听到世界上伟大的教育者提及这种爱,而儿童身上流露的这份爱意却很少被我们发现。看着刚出生的婴儿,我们微笑;看着幼儿,我们的内心被唤醒,沉浸在一片宁静中。

 


Parents know unconditional love. A parent may be overwhelmed by tremendous joy and happiness when holding her or his child for the first time. We remember the sweetness of our newborn child, and we remember the love that overwhelms us.

家长们都知道这种无条件的爱带给我们的感受。在第一次怀抱新生儿时,家长们怀抱着巨大的喜悦和幸福。我们记得这个小小的生命带给我们的甜蜜,把我们淹没在巨大的爱意中。



I recall saying a prayer. Not a formal, religious prayer, but a prayer nevertheless. Actually, I do not recall my words, but I do recall how I felt: whole, peaceful, and unimaginably happy. I prayed for my child’s lifelong health, safety, and happiness. I also felt too small to hold the amount of love that was wanting to burst from me. I still feel that kind of too small.

我还记得我曾经对我的孩子的祈祷。不是宗教性的祈祷,而是一种期望。实际上,我已经记不清具体的措辞了,但我记得当时的感受:一种完整的、宁静的、不可想象的幸福。我祈祷我孩子的一生能够健康、安全、幸福。我还记得身处于这份巨大的爱意之中,我自己的渺小,我有种要爆炸的感受。时至今日,我依然能回味这种感受。

 

I also recall that I did not speak words like these: “Watch over my child, and make sure she has the best test scores for entrance to the top university.” Those words came later.

我也记得,类似于“请保佑我的孩子,让她能取得最好的成绩进入最好的大学。”绝不是我的想法,这些想法是日后才出现的。

 


Unconditional love involves acceptance, but not always agreement. I accept you 100% the way you are, and I accept you 100% the way you are not. This kind of love involves self-love too. I accept myself 100% the way I am, and 100% the way I am not.

无条件的爱是接纳,而接纳并不总是意味着认同。我百分之百的接纳你作为你的部分,我也百分之百的接纳你不能做到的部分。这种爱也包含着对自我的爱。我百分之百的接纳我作为我的部分,我也百分之百的接纳那些我不能做到的部分。

 


Unconditional love may be transformative. However, reading the words of great teachers is not enough. Transformation involves a commitment to practicing a way of living. A life with children can bring forth this kind of love. In the presence of children, adults may aspire to spiritual growth.

无条件的爱是具有变革性的。这种变革性单单阅读那些优秀教育者的论述是不够的,它要求的是一种生活方式。与儿童相处的生活充盈着这种爱。儿童的存在,使得成人的灵性得到成长。




Dr. Maria Montessori wrote, “[The] child is the true maker of our spirituality. He teaches us the plan of nature for giving form to our conduct and character.”[2] One form of conduct with children is to learn to how to serve and not be their servants. 


正如玛利亚蒙台梭利博士写道的,“儿童是我们灵性的塑造者。他们教会我们了解我们天然所具备的行为特征。”其中之一是,去学习如何服务,但又不成为他们的仆人。

 


Specifically, we learn to guide children to become independent and self-reliant. Then children become normalized; they fulfill more of their unique potential. When we observe and accept children, we also experience the assistance they give to us as we learn how to guide. They assist us through love.




具体来说,我们学习如何引导儿童成为独立、自立的个体。而后儿童逐渐完成正常化的过程,他们有着各种独特的潜力。在我们观察、接纳儿童的同时,我们也接受了他们所给予我们的学习如何指引的帮助。在爱意中,儿童协助了我们的成长。




Montessori wrote, "If we want to produce harmony in the world, it is clear that we ought to think more about this …. The child is the only point on which there converges from everyone a feeling of gentleness and love. People’s souls soften and sweeten when one speaks of children; the whole of mankind shares in the deep emotions which they awaken. 


蒙台梭利曾经说,“如果我们想在世界上创造和平,很明显我们应该多这样想想:儿童是我们每个人的柔软和爱意汇聚在一起的唯一原因。人们在说起孩子时,都会变得柔情蜜意;人性在这种深深的情感中被唤醒。”

 


“The child is a well-spring of love. Whenever we touch the child, we touch love. It is a difficult love to define; we all feel it, but no one can describe its roots or evaluate the immense consequences which flow from it …. In the vicinity of children mistrust melts away; we become sweet and kindly, because, when we are gathered about them, we feel warmed by that flame of life which is there, where life originates.” [3]


“儿童是爱的源泉。不管何时,我们触碰一个孩子,我们就触碰到了爱。这种爱很难去给出一个定义,而我们都能感受到它。但没有人能描述这种爱的源头,或是计算出这种爱带来的巨大力量。在儿童面前,怀疑消失了,我们变得可爱善良了。这其中的原因就是,当我们和儿童在一起时,生命最初的火焰温暖着我们每一个人。”



[1]  Matt Valentine. Love is the way: The universal path to peace, happiness, and enlightenment. https://buddhaimonia.com/blog/love-is-the-way

[2]  Maria Montessori. The advanced Montessori method-1, p. 201.

[3]  Maria Montessori. The absorbent mind, pp. 263-264.


02

想要获得儿童不断给予的爱,我们必须“真正地去理解孩子们,用我们所具备的直觉性知识去了解他们的灵魂。”

Unconditional love comes from children. The smallest of babies cause us to smile. They, and older children, awaken us, and we engage in peaceful action. Children are, in other words, a source for world peace!

无条件的爱来自儿童。最小的婴儿让我们的脸上浮现微笑;大一点的孩子唤醒我们,使我们投身到和平的行动中。儿童——用另一词来说,他们是世界和平的源泉!

Dr. Maria Montessori observed, "Mistrust melts away; we become sweet and kindly.” To become receptive to the child’s power of love, we must, Montessori wrote, "remove the accretions of years that prevent us from really understanding children and acquiring an intuitive knowledge of their souls."1 We must learn enlightenment; we need to learn to truly see. 

“猜忌化为乌有,我们变得平和而善良。”蒙台梭利博士写道,想要获得儿童不断给予的爱,我们必须“真正地去理解孩子们,用我们所具备的直觉性知识去了解他们的灵魂。”我们需要保持开放,学习真实地观看。


"Our social mentality," wrote Montessori, "has not grasped the idea that we can receive help from the child, that the child can give us a light and a lesson, a new vision and a solution for inextricable problems." The child, Montessori asserted, can "help adults solve their own individual and social problems." 2

“我们的社会心态”,蒙台梭利博士写道,“还未集有我们能从儿童那里获得帮助的想法。我们不了解儿童能给予我们心灵的光芒、崭新的视角,以及那些无法摆脱的问题的解决办法。正如蒙台梭利博士提到的,儿童能够“帮助成人解决他们自身以及社会性的问题。”

Accepting children’s influence as our teachers, Montessori championed, will help us create a peaceful society. Montessori spoke these words to the graduates of her 1937 training course:

蒙台梭利博士倡导:接纳儿童作为我们的老师,将帮助我们营造出一个祥和的社会。1937年蒙台梭利博士在她的课程中提到以下的内容:

 “You and I have been, as it were, seduced by something attractive and deep in the child…. We began with the methods of education and culture for the child, and we end by acknowledging that he is our teacher … one who can reveal to us, as no other, our own nature and its possibilities. Therefore we are drawn towards the child, as individuals, as members of society, and for the good of the human race as a whole.”3

“你们和我都被儿童身上某种特质深深地吸引,无论是现在还是过去......我们以各类教学法和文化知识开始和他们的接触,而到了最后才认识到他们才是我们的老师……在相处中,他们给了我们启示,使我们了解到自己本性和可能性。因此,我们向儿童学习,作为个体,作为社会的一员,为着人类共同体的明天。”


"For the good of the human race as a whole," Montessori spoke to world leaders about world peace. The Sixth International Montessori Congress took place in Copenhagen in 1937. Representatives from twenty nations were in attendance. Montessori declared in her keynote speech the child’s power to unify adults in peace.   

“为着人类共同体的明天”,蒙台梭利博士就世界和平向世界政坛的领袖们发声。1937年在哥本哈根召开的第六届国际蒙台梭利大会上,20个国家的代表出席了会议。在会上,蒙台梭利博士作出了关于“儿童对于成人世界和平的影响力”的主旨演讲。

"The adult must understand the meaning of the moral defense of humanity, not the armed defense of nations. He must realize that the child will be the creator of the new world peace. In asuitable environment, the child reveals unsuspected social characteristics. The qualities he shows will be the salvation of the world, showing us all the road to peace." 4

“成人必须明白应使用道德捍卫人权,而不是武力。他们必须意识到儿童是世界和平的创造者。在合适的环境中,儿童的行为展现出了让人出乎意料的社会性。他们展示的行为正是世界的拯救之法、和­­平之路。”


The child’s power of love can bring adults to "the road to peace." This congress took place thirty years after the first Montessori school had opened in 1907. Since then, children enrolled in Montessori schools show "unsuspected social characteristics"including a tremendous ability to concentrate when they engage with Montessori learning activities. Montessori understands concentration as a foundation for children’s spiritual growth.5 

儿童爱的力量可以引领成人走上“和平之路”。这次大会在1907年第一所蒙台梭利学校开办后的30年举行。从那时候开始,进入蒙台梭利学校的儿童们就展示出了“令人出乎意料的社会性”,这包括他们在和蒙台梭利博士进行学习活动中展现出的无与伦比的专注力。蒙台梭利博士深知专注力是儿童灵性成长的根基。

We tend to describe children’s physical, cognitive, emotional, and social development. Montessori advocated for a fifth development, spirituality. Accordingly, to become a Montessori classroom guide, an adult engages in a transformative preparation. This preparation, wrote Montessori, "is something far more than the learning of ideas. It includes the training of character; it is a preparation of the spirit."6

我们倾向于谈儿童的生理发展、认知发展、情绪发展和社会发展,而蒙台梭利博士提倡第五类发展:灵性发展。相应地,蒙台梭利课堂中的引导者也会经历具有变革性的自我准备。蒙台梭利博士写道,这种准备“远超越于仅仅学习一些点子。在整个过程中,教师们将会训练自我的人格。这是一场灵性的准备。”


This begins, Montessori taught, with humility. "If we touch children," she wrote, "we touch humanity. We must educate adults to realize that we can only better humanity though the child. We must realize that the child is the builder of man."7

蒙台梭利博士满怀人文关怀地教诲:“当我们触碰儿童时,我们触碰的是人性。我们必须让成人认识到,只有通过儿童我们才能获得更好的人性;我们必须认识到,儿童是人类的塑造者。”

____________________________________

1 Maria Montessori. The secret of childhood, p. 5.

2 Maria Montessori. The secret of childhood, p. 8.

3 Maria Montessori. Quoted in E. M. Standing. Maria Montessori: Her life and work, p. 77.2

4 Maria Montessori in Rita Kramer. Maria Montessori: A biography, p. 337.

5 Maria Montessori. The advanced Montessorimethod-1, p. 119.

6 Maria Montessori. The absorbent mind, p. 132.

7 Maria Montessori. The 1946 London lectures, p. 4.


03

成人被儿童给予的爱意唤醒

When we experience love from a child, we experience a special relationship. A child’s love brings us change. We transform. And, as we transform, we notice changes taking place within children. We notice children progressing through a series of spiritual growths that bring them to normalization.

当感受到了儿童给予的爱,我们就体验了一段特殊的关系。儿童的爱给我们带来不同,使我们发生改变。随着我们的改变,我们能注意到儿童们也在发生变化。这段灵性的成长带来了儿童们的正常化状态。



Montessori wrote that with normalization, “A unique type of child appears, a ‘new child’; but really it is the child’s true ‘personality’ allowed to construct itself normally …” For Montessori, normalization was “the most important single result of our whole work.” [1]

关于正常化,蒙台梭利博士写道:“儿童的独特个性得到了彰显,一个‘新的孩子’出现了。孩子们真正的‘人格’被允许来构建这种正常化状态……”对蒙台梭利博士来说,正常化是“我们所有工作最重要的结果。”

 


Montessori chose the word “normalized” to call our attention to how children should develop. Children who are not normalized may tire from academic study, and they cannot concentrate for long periods of time. They may be timid, anxious, possessive, depressed, unable to focus, and dependent upon others. 

蒙台梭利博士选择了“正常化”这个词来告诉人们儿童应该成长为什么样子。那些没有正常化的儿童对于学习很容易产生倦怠感,他们不能长时间集中注意力。他们可能会胆小、焦虑、消极、抑郁、不能专注,并且十分依赖他人。



Because so many children behave in these ways, adults think these are the characteristics of a normal child. But these children are not normal. These children are disorderly. They have grown up in an educational system in which teachers dispense knowledge according to external standards.

由于太多的孩子都表现出以上这些行为,成人认为那些特点就是正常孩子的表现。然而,事实并不是如此的,那些孩子的状态是失调的,他们的成长环境是老师根据外部标准衡量的填鸭式的环境。

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